Nine eleven twenty sixteen

For Nathan, who didn’t kill a wasp

You scoop a wasp out of

your beer and it flies away,

half drunk, half grateful,

out of that particular fate;

little droplets falling against

the curious shadow cast by 

your glass (curious because 

it is the evening of the day).

That night I slept better than

I had done in a long time.

I didn’t dream of the day we

all stood in stupor looking

at the sky,

although I wish I could sit 

still in silence,

wondering at the stars.

Published in Eunoia Review

A certain kind of ghost

"Most Honoured One, I have a question to ask you. If sons and daughters of good families want to develop the highest, most fulfilled and awakened mind, if they wish to attain the Highest Perfect Wisdom, what should they do to help quiet their drifting minds and help subdue their craving thoughts?" (Diamond Sutra)

And as you walk

down the street –

the certainty of cold wind

slapping your face –

you’ll remember you wanted

to cure the incurable,

save the unsavoury and

split emptiness

with raw contempt.

And with a mastery you

didn’t think possible:

the certainty you will die,

on a Tuesday.

As if living, you’d made

love possible,

in all kinds of tongues.

Published in Eunoia Review

One day I also will pass – in memory of those murdered in Paris on November 13th 2015

“Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism 
or in the darkness of destructive selfishness”
– Martin Luther King Jr

One day I also will pass.

It may be in mid-November, when

the days grow short.

Or after a last drink,

an apéro en terrasse

with friends.

I may be ill. I may be old.

I may be young. I may be alone.

It could happen in Paris.

Or maybe New York.

Perhaps in Rome?

When my candle goes out,

when the smoke dissolves into

thin air, let it be.

But let it be said: I lived.

And I loved.

That's all:

nothing more.

O Antonis 2015

Two hands clap and there is a sound. What is the sound of one hand?

Hakuin Ekaku

What sound does one clapping hand make?

The craft of getting it wrong.

What do I know?

I was never one for riddles, anyway.

The hollowness of the absence yelling back at it?

A sense of hubris at the void – a debt from man

to the stars.

Remember me. I am the salt of the Aegean.

Her organs failed you, not me.

My memory lingers –

who are we?

A body once entwined says thank you

Or good night.

Or good luck.

Talking to angels

I suppose we all talk to angels,

in a certain sense.

The hand, hesitant. Reaching for

respite,

the soul searching: off in a puff;

the pain, diminished

the echo of it bouncing down

broken corridors of long-forgotten

memories.

Chasing dragons. Turning away,

if you can,

from battles never done?

Shinkansen: a poem for Charles

In fond memory of Charles Ramsden

Now, as you board your train

may you be met by

all the ghosts we have known,

those that follow us,

those that give us hope in our weary nights,

those that keep us together,

those who follow us, silent,

into the darkest reaches of our souls,

those who keep our forgotten memories warm

close to them,

may you be met by fellow travellers,

may you speed through the fields of England,

the heartland of Holland

 – which is not about

clichés like windmills and flowers

but a never-ending

fight to keep the devastating

sea of drowning

at bay –

the long rolling hills of Provence,

the forests of fall in New England,

the plains of Japan.

Fellow wanderer,

find your way home,

in the comfort of the Orient Express

at the speed of the Shinkansen,

find peace,

find the light,

while those who wait at the station,

queuing up to buy our own tickets

for that one inescapable journey

look forward,

with confidence,

as we bless that cross,

piercing forward,

into the starry night.

Philae

“May the troubled wanderers who have lost their way
Meet with fellow travellers”

Shantideva (Bodhicaryavatara)

Philae, my love,

fall with grace

into silence

while I wait,

riveted.

Ride on the surface

of the comet

and look back –

we are but dust,

reflected by the Sun:

see that blue speck?

we are there

where what has happened

will. Over and over;

some wait in the cities

some wait in the factories

some wait in the classrooms

some wait in the fields

some wait locked in their

endless regrets

where forgotten dreams

sleep – nothing new under

the Sun

the computers blip,

the coffee cups grow

cold

faces tense

what are they thinking?

What will they gain from the toil,

but the journey?

Some think of the data,

some of the food they

left out this morning

by mistake

some of their mothers,

their fathers or brothers,

their lovers

or the book they left

in the bus – by mistake

as you fall, my love.

I wait.